Church

Tonight, for the first time in probably eight years, I "went to church".

It is not that I don't believe in God; I am a Christian. It is that churches tend to ignore the people and focus on the building and the "congregation" (aka "not the individual people making up the congregation, but the overall appearance and the continued monetary support of the "church" by the people). I just can't justify the cattle at the feeding trough style of "getting God". I much prefer to have my own personal relationship with Him. Isn't that why Jesus came? so that we could have one on one with God and not have to worry about all the in-betweens? Otherwise why bother coming at all? Did he come to save animals? Because that is the only difference I can see between today's churches and the ones of the Old Testament: that today's churches don't sacrifice animals for the sins of the people. We still follow a "code of conduct" all figured out for us by the pastor/priest/rabbi and then we don't have to worry about being bothered to figure any of it out for ourselves, or God-forbid, actually talk to God and have Him give us specific advice for our own situation.

Anyways *steps down from well-worn soapbox*

I really liked this church that I went to tonight. Kimberly (who I work with at the animal clinic) invited me to go with her (she goes almost every Saturday night). It was a tiny church with only maybe twenty or so people attending. We had a time of worship and then the pastor had us read Job 23:1-7

Then Job answered and said,
"Even to day [is] my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning. Oh that I knew where I might find him! [that] I might come [even] to his seat! I would order [my] cause before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know the words [which] he would answer me, and understand what he would say unto me. Will he plead against me with [his] great power? No; but he would put [strength] in me. There the righteous might dispute with him; so should I be delivered for ever from my judge."

The pastor asked us to split into groups of two and to pray about what we are desparate for. Then we read the scripture again and prayed in groups of four. Afterwards, we split up and Kimberly and I went outside and talked about our problems a little just to kinda clear the air.

Found out that we are pretty kindred spirits despite the fact that Kimberly can go a little bling-bling sometimes. I guess everyone has an odd side... I wonder what people say when they talk about me? Maybe it sounds like this: "That Christine, she's alright, even cool on occasion, though she can be a little bossy sometimes." or maybe it's "though she does go off the deep end withsome of her ideas."

Whatever.

Maybe next week Andrew and Laura will be able to come to "church" too.

Lots of drama here at the house this week; it was all very stressful and the challenge of not crying in front of anyone had to be compromised. I cried in front of family and then both cried and teared up (separate occasions) on the phone with friends. Crazy. Wish I were a pink and purple kangaroo.

Sorry, it's late.

Christine

Just Watched: Pacifier (it was funny and surprisingly clean, but lacked an element of reality).

Still Reading: The cat doctor book (previous post)... and the Bible.

Currently hugging: My pillow